Deer Me!

12 Nov. ‘14

1415829500_full.jpegWell, it seems as though we were not having an exciting enough life.  There are times when everything seems to be going along just fine; when you really don’t have a care in the world, none of your kids are in jail and your Grandkids haven’t really learned the differences between boys and girls.  That was us on 11 November 2014.  Or it was us until the INCIDENT!

My beautiful wife and I had just left our home to deliver a shopping cart to the Alamo Cafe not far from our house.  This is something everyone does once in awhile, right?  Well, maybe not, but we had these two deluxe shopping carts that we used the heck out of while living at our mansion apartment last year.  These carts had probably carried a ton of groceries from our truck three stories up to our apartment.  I know I would most likely be dead if it weren’t for these carts.  But, as we have become high-class and moved into a new home, we don’t really have a need for them.  So I had placed a superbly written advertisement on Craigslist letting them go for the paltry sum of $20 each or $35 for both!

I had really wanted to make a little more money off of them as I am in the market for a neShopping Cartsw computer, but my lovely wife finally convinced me that I couldn’t possibly sell these two carts for $1,000!  I figured there was a sucker out there somewhere that had more money than sense who needed a shopping cart so I figured my price would be just fine.  My wife told me that she wanted them sold and out of the garage so I had better apply some common sense and price them reasonably.  She always throws this common sense stuff at me!

Anyway, we had just dropped off the second cart and I had picked up my paltry $20 and were headed out to spend it all on dinner!  We stopped at the McAllister’s Deli not far from our home and had a very fine evening meal.  There was nothing exciting about this event whatsoever!  Little did we know what was coming!!!

imac-retina-2014After our pleasant evening dinner, we headed to Best Buy, one of my favorite establishments, but not so for my patient wife!  She wanted to find a 2015 calendar which I figured was a little early, but I never plan that far ahead anyway, so she decided to go to Staples which is right next to Best Buy.  So I strode into Best Buy and headed for the Apple display.  I was looking for a particular computer Apple produces and as usual, Best Buy did not have it!  I should have known better; they never have what I want when I want it!  So I wandered around looking at a few other things I can’t afford when my wife finally caught up with me.

I knew that it was time to leave.  I really hated to leave Best Buy empty-handed but that’s what was going to happen; they didn’t have what I wanted and I couldn’t have afforded it even if they did.  So now you know why I wanted to go to Best Buy!

We got in the truck and headed out on our normal route towards home.  Traffic was kind of heavy for a weekday even if it was a holiday for some. I had my truck lights on since it was after dusk and only idiots drive around in the dark!  Seems like there were a lot of idiots out this very night, but little did we know that the idiots wouldn’t have a thing to do with us in just a little while!No speeding

We had just passed under an overpass heading north on Bulverde Road.  The time was approximately 6 pm.  The date was Wednesday, 11 November 2014.  We were driving at 45 mph EXACTLY, I never speed, honest, and we were in a fairly tight group of traffic.  I had placed our vehicle in the middle lane or the second lane from the right with traffic in front and back and on my left side.

All of a sudden, WHAM!  Something or someone had just smacked the right passenger side of our truck and it or they had hit it HARD!  I hadn’t seen a thing so I asked my wife who usually sees everything, “What just happened?”

Big BuckShe said, “We just got hit by something!”  Duh!  In a flash, I knew she was right!

I was thinking, did I hit a drunk on the road or was that a big box or maybe even a big board!  I couldn’t figure out what I hit and the truck seemed to be just fine.  I then again looked over towards my wife and then noticed the side mirror hanging in pieces!  I immediately knew that that’s not how it should look.  I decided that I have better pull over and see what damage had been done or find out what I had hit.

There was a fire station just up on our right so I pulled into their parking lot.  I got out and went over to the right side of the Tahoe.  By then, two other vehicles had pulled up next to us and were asking if we were all right!  One lady got out and came over to see for sure if we were OK, because she knew we had been hit very hard.

I then asked her, “What the heck happened?”

She said, “You got hit by a very large deer.  A buck, I think, and he was trying to jump over your truck!”

I was kind of dumbfounded, usually not my normal state, I assure you!  I think my wife was almost going into shock but she recovered pretty quickly.  I think she was very worried about the deer!  I was worried, and rightly so, about my poor Tahoe!  What kind of a deer thinks he can jump over a Chevy Tahoe?  All they gotta’ do is go to a Chevy new truck lot and they’ll see they can’t possibly jump that high!  And this one sure didn’t make it.

The lady that saw what happened said the deer hit and spun around and fell on the road for just a second and then2014-11-12 10.24.54 took off back towards the field he had come from.  My wife was worried that the deer was out there in the dark severely injured.  I could care less; my poor Tahoe was obviously severely injured; to heck with the dumb deer!

So now I’ve got to get the Tahoe repaired.  It’ll cost me a few dollars and the deer won’t be around to pay his share.  He hit me so he was at fault and should have at least covered my deductible.

Oh, deer!  What an evening!

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